Difficult personalities, jealousy, incompatibilities, cultural differences, and economic problems are some of the difficulties that many couples face at the beginning of their marriage.
However, people who have been together for forty years are more satisfied with their relationship than during the first 12 months of marriage. This is the conclusion of a study by the Australian Center for Quality of Life at Deakin University.
So, is it normal to fight a lot? What problems might arise?
Is Fighting Between Couples Normal In Marriage?
Couples will fall in and out of love throughout their relationship. Having shared goals keeps people together. It’s important not to let anger take over rational thinking. Sometimes it’s better to take a break and walk away.
Take the time you need to choose your words wisely. Unhappy couples need to decide, “Is this worth fighting over”; is this really worth losing my marriage over?
Is this something my partner and I can work through together? Or is it something I can let go of? Think about the reasons couples fight.
Fighting is part of human nature; it’s been happening since the beginning of time. However, once the honeymoon phase is over and you realize you have committed to another human being – a lifelong commitment – overwhelming feelings of the grandness of the responsibility take over, and partners often feel “trapped.”
But fighting is a natural thing that happens between even the best of couples. Fights are a way to express what has built up and hasn’t surfaced more healthily.
And it’s been shown in prizefighting that combatants often shake hands after the bout and hug each other, so even the worst of enemies become friends after a ‘fight.’
Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, the list goes on and on of men (and women) who have traded leather and come out the other end with respect for their dancing partner.
How Much Arguing Is Too Much In A Relationship?
It’s ok to argue, but is it constructive? A healthy relationship will have a great deal of arguing: What’s for dinner; it’s your turn to do the garbage; what do you mean you forgot to pick up the youngest from school? But it shouldn’t be called arguing.
Debating may be a better term. You don’t start yelling and screaming just because your partner wants to watch a chick flick tonight. Besides, how many action flicks did you watch this weekend while she was out?
It would be best if you learned how to fight fair. That means no swearing, no yelling, but stop and listen to what you have has to say before reacting. You would probably win more “arguments” if you were kind, approachable, and reasonable.
Pick and choose your battles wisely. If you take a moment to understand the other person’s perspective, you can avoid most arguments. So instead, walk a day in their shoes.
The general rule of thumb is that it’s too much fighting if the bad times outweigh the good. A person’s happiness shouldn’t depend on someone else.
Both of you should stop the fight immediately. Only then can you get on with their life and their pursuit of happiness.
If a partner is getting in the way of the other’s happiness, then it’s safe to say that the fighting is overwhelming.
Both parties need to split or come to a mutual agreement to end the bickering.
Do Couples Who Fight Stay Together?
Should They?
If most of your time together is spent fighting and arguing rather than having a constructive conversation, it might signify you are in a toxic relationship.
A marriage is never easy and should ultimately make you a more happy and fulfilled person. Your partner’s role should be to uplift and help you achieve your goals.
If the opposite happens and your relationship feels more like work than fun, then it’s time to consider professional help from a marriage counselor.
This is a relative question, relative to the couple in question and both parties that make the couple whole. But, unfortunately, some people can’t stand fighting, and it eats away at their ego: making life outside the relationship unacceptable.
Others are very submissive or agreeable, and fights don’t bother them. But, unfortunately, fighting can be traumatizing to some and mean nothing to others. Anyone who is in a relationship and constantly fights should understand what tolerance is.
Is Arguing Healthy In A Relationship Or Not?
Don’t Bottle Things Up.
The worst customer is a customer who doesn’t complain. If you or your partner never express issues, that may be upsetting or bothersome. How are you or your partner going to be aware of changing those issues?
It’s important to tell your partner what you like and don’t like. Be open and honest about your concerns, but you need to do it in a calm, collected, and coherent manner. Think about it. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Once again, this is a relative question. Some people naturally get along with each other just fine and find the need to argue excessively. Others don’t voice their opinion, so that that anger can build up in an unhealthy way.
It’s healthy to voice your opinion, to let out your anger and frustrations, as long as it doesn’t build up into a monster.
A person who does not speak up and can’t find the courage to voice an opinion is at a disadvantage in life because they are subject to being walked all over. But, unfortunately, because they are like that, the other takes advantage of this type of situation.
They are often roped into situations they don’t want to be a part of.
Because they are so used to being submissive, they don’t have the attention, and their objections are always ignored.
If You Are Facing A Failed Relationship
If you feel like things have become too much, the arguing destroys your marriage and happiness it may be time to seek professional help. A marriage is a two-way street. You earn respect when you give to others. Love is a cruel mistress, worth fighting for, even if it’s a battlefield.
