Rage can be a destructive force in a marriage. If you’re married to someone who has anger problems, it’s important to understand that they will not change overnight.
It might be very difficult to combat someone who is enraged, but solutions to the anger problem exist. A spouse with rage issues can make it a mission to change their ways and show you they are capable of controlling their feelings.
You should also avoid anything that might set off their anger, such as talking about topics that are known to trigger rage. Take time for yourself and optimize your surroundings in order to help avoid your own destructive impulses (e.g., take a break from the person, put distance between you and them).
It is important to seek professional help in order to learn how to deal with this problem in a constructive way.
Only a mental health professional will be able to help you understand the root of the problem and come up with an effective treatment plan.
The people we love still have flaws. Sometimes, they can be angry at us, even when it is not reasonable for them to be. You can learn more how to handle a spouse with rage following the tips that I will show you next.
Anger Management
You can defeat anger by being calm and seeming strong but not angry. If you can stand up to your partner without getting as mad as they do, you may seem more reasonable than them, and they may back down.
Sometimes, there might be more to your partner’s side of the argument than you realize. Your partner will be half right a lot of the time, even if you don’t see it at first.
If you are able to calmly call your spouse out for being too angry, they may listen and stop yelling at you. Do not come across as vulnerable, and don’t get as angry as your partner does but be firm and reasonable.
Controlling Anger Immediately
Keep better control of your emotions. This will make them realize they overreact to little things or expect you to immediately change things you can’t change right away.
If their anger is irrational, they can usually realize they are being unreasonable. Talk to them about their anger in the right way and make them understand.
Talk with them about the problem. Don’t immediately tell them they are being unreasonable and angry.
Some Of The Things That Can Help You Handle A Spouse With Rage Are:
- De-escalate rather than escalate. Instead of getting angry and trying to win the argument by intensifying it, you should turn the yelling match into a discussion.
- Clearly and firmly state your point of view. Ask your spouse to clearly and calmly explain theirs. You won’t be able to cooperate if you yell about everything.
- Understand what makes your spouse angry and what makes you angry. Most arguments can be avoided if you avoid or are aware of a few situations or words that trigger them.
- Think long-term and be realistic. You can’t completely change your partner’s personality or easily change their point of view on an issue. However, you can negotiate, and in the long run, your partner’s personality can change in many ways.
- Talk to your partner calmly when they are not angry. If you address your partner about an earlier angry outburst when they are calmer, they might apologize and realize they get angry too easily.
- Accept that couples fight, but don’t accept that spouses yell and scream so much that they hate each other. Some arguments are fine to discuss between the two of you, but it should not continue until it destroys the relationship.
Why Are We Angry At The Person We Love?
Anger is natural, but there should not be too much of it. You can learn to reduce your anger or teach an angry spouse to be more reasonable.
Anger can be a poor reaction to stress. Sometimes, if a spouse is stressed out, they might take the stress out on another person. The other person isn’t really doing anything to make them angry.
Instead, they yell at them to get rid of general stress and anger. This is an unhealthy way to deal with stress and is bad for your relationship.
Yelling Solves Nothing
If your partner gets angry at you when they have a bad day at work, they might pretend that you did something wrong, which made them angry.
Whatever you did or supposedly did wrong is only an excuse. The real reason why they are yelling at you is they are angry about something in their own lives which is not your fault.
Sometimes, pointing out their anger is not rational is enough to solve the problem. If they understand they are yelling because of stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with you, they might stop.
People Get Angry At Those They Love
If you love someone, it is easier to get to them when you are angry at them. You know a lot about them and know what their weak points are. It is easier to hurt a spouse’s feelings than to hurt those who are not related to you.
You also have a long history with this person. If they have known you for years or decades, they can think of anything that has happened in the relationship so far and use it as a reason to get mad.
If they are angry, they have years worth of things to think of, even if you have been nice to them most of the time.
We Always Fight But We Love Each Other
Just because there is a fair bit of yelling in the relationship does not mean it is a bad marriage that should end. Many people who stay happily married until they die still go through periods when there is a lot of fighting.
I could give you my example. We’ve been married for a long time and there is not a week that goes by where we don’t argue. We know it is normal to have few fights, but the important thing is to respect each other. Each couple has their own unique dynamic.
Good relationships can recover from bad times.
What Are The Signs Of A Person With Anger Issues?
A person might have anger issues if their anger is frequent and unreasonable. If you let your partner get their way on one issue, but they then go back to being angry shortly after that, your spouse may have anger problems.
Avoid Causing Harm to Others
Anyone can be angry, even if they do not have anger problems. However, a normal person is angry only if they have a good reason to be. Anger problems make someone angry all the time, whether or not they have any real reason to be.
If someone has anger problems, they may do things they regret. For example, they may do something bad enough to one of their friends and lose a friendship.
Someone can lose their job because they have anger problems. A person has anger problems if their anger is causing harm to themselves or others.
What Anger Can Do To Your Marriage
At worst, anger can destroy a marriage. Someone with serious anger problems may become physically abusive.
You can usually solve anger problems before they get worse, but conflict can be very bad for a marriage.
Anger Can Hurt a Spouse
It can make them nervous, depressed, less emotionally healthy, and even less physically healthy.
Don’t let your spouse take anger out on you for too long. It will start to affect the rest of your life if you let it continue.
Can Exercise Help Control Emotions?
Sometimes, a person is angry because of addictions or because they do not have a healthy way to release energy. Alcohol can easily make people angry. Sometimes, even too much caffeine can make people angry.
Things like exercise can get rid of anger. Some forms of relaxation are better than others and can calm you down. Everyone should learn to get rid of anger without taking it out on other people.
How do I Stop Being Angry At Someone I Love?
Realize that anyone you marry, even if they are wonderful in many ways, will always have flaws, because of stress and fatigue in their lives.
They cannot always do everything they should as they only have so much time and energy.
Bad habits can take a long time to change. Everyone knows how difficult it is to change their own flaws. Everyone also knows how easy it is to hurt or betray someone else in some way.
Don’t Be Angry Easily
To avoid being angry at someone you love, accept that it is difficult for them to fix their problems and accept they have many positive qualities. They can change and compromise, but don’t expect them to change everything fast.
If your spouse has anger issues, it’s essential to understand they will not change overnight. It would be best if you were patient and understanding as they worked through their problems.
It’s also important to ensure you have a support system in place, whether talking to friends or family members or seeking professional help. Don’t let anger destroy your marriage. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and it takes two people to end it.
