Are things not going well in your marriage, and you are suffering abuse from your partner?
I want to help you identify the causes and get rid of that abuse.
Continue reading and you will learn more.
1. Envies Everything And Acts As If It Owns You
2. Controls Everything You Do
3. Thinks It’s Better Than You
4. Always Blames You
5. Punishes You
6. Apologizes But Continues To Do The Same
7. Is Chauvinistic
8. Use Anything To Make You Feel Bad
9. Denies It Is Abusive And Says It Does Not Need Help
Many people think an abusive relationship is one where the woman is often beaten by their partner.
The truth is, there are different levels of abusive relationships.
There are those abuses in which there is no physical aggression.
An emotional abuser can control their victim by blaming, shaming, name-calling or swearing.
What verbal and emotional abuse looks like?
Identify 9 behaviors that show what an abusive relationship is.
1. Envies Everything And Acts As If It Owns You
Some say jealousy is synonymous with love. Don’t fall for it. Does your partner act as if you are his property?
In a toxic relationship, he wants to isolate the partner. Even from socializing with friends and family.
This is very common.
The isolation issue is an ace in the abuser’s hand.
He uses the partner’s fear of being alone as a tactic to remain in that relationship.
2. Controls Everything You Do
Exaggerated jealousy already indicates that something is not going well in the relationship.
Having a controlling partner by your side makes him repress your life in many ways.
Controlling people tend to want to be the center of attention. He will want, because of possessiveness and jealousy, to command everything you do.
In his view, forcing him to do whatever he wants is completely normal.
He will always decide to choose where you go, what clothes you wear, who you talk to, or what you do and when.
And if you refuse or are unsubmissive you will be in trouble. He will react with hostility, attacking you and wanting you to obey again.
3. Beliefs Is Better Than You
Superiority is a strong characteristic of toxic relationships, where psychological abuse reigns.
He needs to diminish you to feel superior.
Either in private or even in front of other people.
The abuser’s focus is to decrease self-esteem so that the person is not able to make their own decisions.
In this sense, he makes you think you are nothing without him.
He thinks he is the only way to solve your problems.
It will demean you and make you feel incapable, while he acts as if he owns the truth.
Be Cautious.
The abusive partner wants you to feel weak, and to remain at his mercy.
4. Always Blaming You
This happens because your abusive partner will always manipulate the situation. He wants you to believe you are the cause of his behavior.
He convinces you that he is acting in an abusive manner in response to your behavior.
Thus, he reverts the situation, making you think you are the one who needs to change in order for him to change too.
So, the abuser ends up placing the blame on the victim’s side. He makes you think you are the one behaving.
5. Always Punishing You
When you do something he does not like, even if it has no logic, the abusive partner will “make you pay”.
This can happen, by depriving you of something like talking or even sex.
The “punishment” puts you in the position of being wrong. It is as if what you did is reason enough to abuse you.
It is important that you remember that nothing justifies abusive behavior. The victim is never the abuser.
6. Apologizes But Continues To Do The Same
The point of the abusive relationship is its cycle. There is an abusive action, followed by a request for forgiveness. And then repeated promises to improve.
Thus, because you love him, you give him one more chance. Yet, everything remains a bed of roses until the aggressive behavior reappears.
We all make mistakes, that don’t characterize an abusive relationship. It is time to rethink it.
7. Is Chauvinistic
If your partner sees women as inferior, it is certain that your relationship, if it is not, will be abusive. Notice how he treats other women, like his mother, sister, co-workers.
Since he regards women to be below him, he feels the right to subjugate them in all aspects.
Observe how he expresses opinions about gender equity. Above all, how he treats the women around him.
A relationship with a male chauvinist is an abusive one. He will want to act over you.
8. Uses Anything To Make You Feel Bad
Humiliating phrases, jokes and bad comments, all come in the abusive relationship package.
Somehow, the abuser always finds a way to disqualify you. It will make you feel bad about yourself.
Little by little, this will change. You will not be the incredible person you were at the beginning.
Without realizing it, you will lose your self-esteem. You might start to think that you are so bad that no other person will love him if this relationship ends.
It will disregard what you feel and think. At this point everything you do, talk, think and feel will be a burden.
9. Denies the abuse and says it does not need help
For him, his behavior is normal. You are the one who provokes him. In his mind, no intervention is necessary, since the reason is always on his side.
Rather, for the abusive partner, you are the one who needs help and is too sensitive.
Note that leaving an abusive relationship is not impossible
Even if you are stuck in this situation, there is hope. Seeking help and having lots of strength on your part, can get you rid of this toxic relationship.
The first step is to admit that there’s a problem. Self-knowledge is essential, both to get out of this situation and not to enter in it again.
This type of relationship is damaging to your life. Treat it as soon as possible, so it does not affect you in other areas.
Anxiety and depression are among the most common consequences of an abusive relationship.
It is capable of disintegrating your individuality and personal values. It will also create psychological scars for the rest of your life.
It’s very complex to intervene in an abusive relationship. Since it is very difficult for the victim to recognize they are in one.
Guilt and fear are the main reasons for this distorted perception of reality.
How to escape an abusive relationship
Remember, you live in a country where women have acquired rights. You can count on help from people you trust.
In this context, certain steps are very important to follow. It is necessary to choose the right time when it comes to leaving an abusive relationship:
- Recognition. The first step is with no doubt to admit you have a problem. It’s not normal, you don’t need to be in such and above all, YOU MUST not accept it.
- Talk to someone you trust. Discuss with a trusted friend or seek the help of a psychologist. As you externalize the problem, it will be easier to accept and to think of the next steps to take.
- Seek Help. There are other ways to get a helping hand. Like finding an organization which supports victimized people in your area.
- Be Careful. You should be cautious if you are thinking of ending your toxic relationship. Take necessary precautions and avoid saying that you are going to end it all.
- Strengthen your self-esteem. Don’t doubt that you need to leave an abusive relationship. You need to make a firm decision. And not go back on it. Focus on your qualities and remember you have people around you to support you. None of us is perfect. We all have our weaknesses. You deserve better in life.
- End the Relationship. If you don’t have a choice and for your own good, the best decision will be to end the abusive relationship. Putting this into action will be the first step towards freedom.
In the end, do not feel guilty for getting into an abusive relationship. It’s not your fault. Concentrate on what you have to do from now on.
