Does jealousy destroy or spice up the relationship? What is behind the behavior of a jealous spouse? Can you handle it well? This post will help you understand that.
One can be jealous of brothers, jealous of friends, and even some are jealous of objects! Do you know anyone who has any of these types of jealousy?
1. Low Self-Esteem And Self-Confidence
2. Realize That You Are No Longer A Child
3. Develop More Mature Love
4. Assume To Yourself That Your Jealousy Is Completely Irrational
5. Start Working On Developing Your Self-Confidence
6. Watch Out For Automatic Suspicious Thoughts
7. Always Remember Good Times
The question of jealousy is a big problem for many people. But the most common type of jealousy occurs among couples.
It’s normal to feel a little jealous in a relationship. I myself think that feeling jealous is proof of love.
There’re those who say that jealousy stimulates relationships.
The problem is that for some people jealousy hurts.
When taken to the extreme it can even end the relationship.
But is it possible to fight jealousy, is there anything I can do with myself?
I’m talking about jealousy in which there’s no real reason for it.
Of course, if your partner comes home too late and for no good reason, you won’t be happy, it is understandable.
There’re a lot of people who end up losing control.
For example, he or she saw a photo on Instagram, or if he’s going out with friends, or if he looked at someone in a certain way.
I’ve heard even people who are jealous of what the other is thinking, or of what the other dreamed while sleeping!
Jealousy as a reasonable and real reason needs to be identified.
And yes, the couple always needs to talk about it.
And the way to start dealing with and stop this kind of jealousy is by answering the question “What is it that makes me a jealous and compulsive person?”
Next, I will show seven points you will need to start doing today in order to stop having these compulsive feelings in you.
You will learn what you should do instead.
Put them in your head. Remember them every day from now on and you will be able to overcome jealousy.
# 1 Low Self-Esteem And Self-Confidence
If you don’t have confidence in yourself you’ll find yourself uninteresting.
You will live fixed on the threat that your partner will exchange you for someone much more interesting.
It’s time for you to start separating what is fantasy from what is reality.
Look at yourself now and discover your qualities.
Put it in your head that if your partner changes you or betrays you, you may even lose out on it.
But he will lose much more than you do.
Live with this idea and don’t let it go out of your head.
There may even be more beautiful and more interesting people, but no one is more special than you.
Because you’re able to love, dedicate, desire and care for that person in a unique way.
And if he or she wants to waste all that, it’s their problem.
If that person does not know or doesn’t want to receive the best you have to give, that’s not your problem.
Stop thinking that your value comes from someone else wanting you.
Stop Feeling Inferior
As long as you don’t find your worth, and feel like the last in line, you’ll continue to be jealous for no apparent reason.
And even if you pretend to like yourself, people will be able to see that you’re not well and realize your low self-esteem.
Really change inside your way of perceiving yourself.
# 2 Realize That You Are No Longer A Child
Another reason for feeling this unconscious jealousy is that some people do not realize that they are already adults.
Because if you knew it, you wouldn’t repeat a very typical behavior of children.
It is normal for a child of one, two or three years to panic at being abandoned or left alone.
A small child will have thoughts of fear such as’’ my mother no longer kisses me like she used to‘’.
Or yet ”she doesn’t spend as much time with me as before. She prefers to be with my dad’’.
This is completely normal in a child.
Because if she was abandoned because of who she loves, she has no way of living physically and psychologically.
But there are many adults who grew up with this fear of being abandoned, with the idea that no one will take care of them anymore.
If this’s your case, it’s time for you to understand something.
You now survive the abandonment. He knows how to act on his own.
He’s able to remake his own life, your history and even find new loves.
It seems difficult but it’s possible. You’re now a free and independent autonomous adult.
This idea that you need to watch every step your partner takes because you can’t bear to be without that person, is at the bottom an echo of your child’s fantasies.
# 3 Develop More Mature Love
Another very important reason that may be making you a slave to compulsive jealousy is not being able to move to another level of love within you.
I am talking about a more mature love, which is that love when we are able to give up the possessive.
If I say I love someone but I move quickly from love to uncontrolled anger, that doesn’t love.
That’s a feeling of possession.
That’s the desire to want the other to be my property.
Psychologically this is not good.
Love Frees
Whoever loves doesn’t live trying to put the other in a cage.
Because who truly loves to love the other’s freedom and their own freedom.
#4 Assume To Yourself That Your Jealousy Is Completely Irrational
Recognize that this is a problem and that you need to change and change it quickly in your life.
Only then will you be able to live in peace with each other and with yourself.
#5 Start Working On Developing Your Self-Confidence
Write a list of things that are difficult for you to do and try to start overcoming those things.
For example, speaking in public, if that is difficult for you.
Or go to the cinema alone, if that makes you uncomfortable or insecure.
Challenge yourself to improve your confidence in yourself.
Doing this will significantly improve your self-image.
# 6 Watch Out For Automatic Suspicious Thoughts
Don’t let your suspicions nest in your head. Be careful when judging your partner’s actions.
If your husband hitchhiked a coworker, don’t jump to conclusions.
Or still, don’t start thinking right away that your husband cheated on you just because he went to dinner with his colleagues at work and that this was an excuse to be with someone.
Unless you have proof and evidence of this, don’t let these wrong thoughts occupy your head.
Identify this dysfunction itself and block the habit of always distrusting everything.
Invert your ideas and thoughts and put yourself in the other’s shoes.
Instead of being suspicious, think that it is perfectly normal to give someone a ride from work.
Rather think that it is great that your partner, the person you love, develops good relationships at work and in life.
# 7 Always Remember Good Times
Another thing that will help you a lot is the moments that you live and that you have lived together.
Think of the complicity you have experienced together.
Trust yourself. Be free, live, and let the other person live.
Remembering the good things of the past makes it worthwhile to forget the bitterness of the present day.
Some have chronic amnesia to remember the good things we do for them.
I hope this post has given you new horizons for you to reflect on.
If you know someone who is also jealous, experiencing the same problem, share this information.
